a series of (un) connected events

i originally fell in "love" with the actor, who wouldn't with a face like that? but found myself falling in love with the story more, who wouldn't with a plot like that?

"If we can love someone so much,
how will we be able to handle it one day
when we are separated?
And if being separated is a part of life,
and you know about separation well,
is it possible that we can love someone
and never be afraid of losing them?
[Or,] is it possible that we can live our entire life
without loving at all?"

though not really the drama queen people think i ought to be, i couldn't hold back the emotions while i sat in my chair and watched "love of siam" for the first time last weekend. i guess it felt rather appropriate since it voiced out a lot of the anxieties i have tried to bury in. anxieties that, in my moments of disinhibition, surface and just leave me all messed up.

one of my issues finally found its outlet and this movie got it full out in the open. it was rather a handful to handle quite honestly, too much for a weakling like me to bear in one go. that would probably explain why i found myself yet again, "running away" to the mall, the largest the country could offer, to loose myself. but with revelation comes clarity i suppose. with one cat out of the bag, one finds more room to actually move around, and breath, and think... think better. see clearer.

****

i found a message left by angkor last night. he said he was having a bad day. i sent him an SMS asking what was the matter (... peanut butter, irritatingly corny but an effective way of defusing anything). as i figured, it was work related. our worlds are becoming more and more parallel by the day.

we chatted for a bit, being "briefly" interrupted by my client calling me on my mobile.

he teased me that maybe my client had the hots for me. i responded that he's just jealous that my appeal is for mass patronage :) out of the blue, he asked if i watch pink films, to which i replied, yes. i told him about "love of siam" and how i simply just loved the movie. turns out, angkor was in love with it too. like opposite reflections touching the surface of a still pool, we connected. once again, we were on common ground.

****

"hello? dih ti to-loh lo ah?"
(where are you now?)

"tayuman. ka-nah?"
(tayuman, why?)

"bo-ah. qui dit bo tih'ia tio di e sya. di be' toh lay beh? di be kih gym pa ba?"
(nothing, just haven't heard from you the entire day. are you on you way home? are you still going to the gym?)

"hoh. pero gua be to kih tze."
(yes, but i'll go home first.)

"ok."

"ok."

mom doing what she uncannily does best, being (over) protective of her brood. her sense of smell for things amiss is legendary. i was fine, but she just needed to hear it from me. i don't think she believes me though.

****

on every seventh year, the israelites celebrate the sabbath year, the year of rest. understand this, a FULL year of rest. after seven sabbath years (49 years later), they celebrate the year of the jubilee (year 50), heralded by the sounding of a ram's horn on the tenth day of the seventh month, the day of atonement. on this year, all men in slavery were set free and all lost inheritance was returned to him.

"in present significance, to celebrate the year of the jubilee is to live each day without anxieties, no worries, no lack, no shortage, no sickness, no calamity, no problems. but rather, having all benefits and all things satisfying to our hearts. this for God is our daily jubilee. Christ had freed us from slavery and have made Himself as our everlasting inheritance to enjoy. "

a friend texted this to me this morning. just found it rather timely.