Friday, August 4, 2017

getting the juices flowing again, hopefully

It's been a few years since my last post and it seems I'm not the only one at that. This used to be a way fro me to vent out my inner frustrations, or just have a means of having a conversation with myself, strange as that may sound, or put to paper (in a sense) sudden sparks of inspiration. Lately, however, I don't think i have has as much time for that anymore.

Work. I have been it's bitch and it is one mean slave driver. On the occasions wherein I do have time to myself, churning out thoughts after my mind-numbing days is almost close to impossible. I am hoping though that I can start the habit again, journal-ing at least and maybe rekindle that internal dialogue I used to have with myself and have it materialize into full paragraphs.

So, let me begin but just a banal description of my day, in the 6 hours that I have been awake so far.

Stress has been creeping up on me again, ironically since I am 6 days away from my 2 week vacation. With the impending lull just over the horizon, my body seems to instinctively start to tense up with the thought of possible doom in the event of my absence. In truth, I really shouldn't be worried, however that is obviously easier said than done.

I spend a good few hours helping my mom look for stuff again. Again since I help her look for stuff almost everyday due to her dementia. I often dont mind but during times wherein I have a million things to do, helping her look for her keys for the nth time can really be testing. Apart from being her bloodhound, I had to go octopus mode again, following up with clients, thinking of what to cook (i am now the official cook at home) else my parents STARVE, while at the same time manage my day and try, earnestly, not to loose my mind. It is a blessing that I practice fasting as this affords my body ONE less thing to worry about, hunger. So far, 24hours with just coffee has done wonders for me as far as being efficient. Hopefully today will be another one of those days.