random accounts

i would like to think that i am a very observant person. i have always admired and have been fascinated by how some people simply have this gift, to see things people don't usually see. every single detail seem to jump out at them and grab hold of their attention, not willing to let go unless they are addressed. hence, i too try to make myself worthy of such "events". i make myself a willing audience to these seemingly irrelevant factoids. i take in these bits and pieces of information and just have them tumble in my head, my brain juggling thoughts, sequences, scenarios, possibilities, theories. calculating the millions of versions a truth can be, and finding which truth best suits me.

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last saturday, my friends brought me to peppermint club at the grand habtoor. the club used to be at the fairmont dubai, but since Eid Al Fatr, they have moved to their new spot at dubai marina. the make-shift club feels like it is the same size though this time, the ceiling height is lower. the club rents out a ballroom of the hotel and turns it to a dance club every friday. i didn't really have that much expectation this time as i did when we went to trilogy the week prior. maybe since i am a creature of habit and have already programmed in my head a week before that this weekend would be a lazy one, i could not give myself enough notice to reprogram when plans changed.

peppermint felt different. not that it shouldn't considering the last time i was there, it was in a different hotel. the crowd felt different, the music felt different, and i felt different. i can't really put my finger on it as to what made the night feel off. things started rather slow. we got to the club near midnight and the place was still rather empty. the music was pretty disjointed and every time you'd catch a beat to dance to (not that i dance that much), the DJ would butcher it up into something that just felt like crap. the club felt bland. even after the place filled up to its jammed-pack state and the new DJ (bless his soul, he was wonderfully pleasant) hiked up the mood, the new peppermint, for me, still lags in comparison to its former glory. to be honest, after the night was over, i felt exhausted. in fairness to the night tho, i got to find out the place where the gay men of dubai hang out. hehehe, not that this would be useful info for me, now that i am leaving.

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i didn't get to spend time with vikki this weekend since for its entirety, she was busy at work. poor thing actually since it would have been great to spend my days with all my friends together. this is my only regret for leaving actually, leaving people. i really could care less about memories, about work, about my possessions. but leaving people behind, friends and love ones are the most difficult. i guess it is true with most people as well.

spent the mid day afternoon on the beach, looking at people sun bathing and just having fun by the water. i felt unusually detached and could not bring myself to relate to anything in my surroundings. either i was just totally out of it or my coping mechanism has finally started. i have now started to become dead to the world and to everything i would be leaving behind. spare me any longings, any heartaches, any pain. the hermit in me has awaken once more.