mea culpa

what was to have been a remarkable day turned out remarkable indeed.

a sea of tears will never be enough, nor a thousand years of remorse
what has to be done is done and regrets are my only souvenirs
good intentions are never good, well wishes never well
apologies and thank you's eventually sound empty.

all is not enough, the feelings, my reasons, i am afraid can never be justified.
but again i have to be strict and remember, what needs to be done.
explanations mean nothing now
rationale, senseless
but truth always came with a high price,
and truth was what it was.

i feel evil. but it had to be done
it was merciless, but it had to be done
i was vile, cold and heartless
but it had to be done
for not to do so would have even been more sinister.

i seek no redemption, nor do i seek compassion, my regrets have already set.
i only pray that God show great mercy to you at least,
ease you in these hard, testing times
that He show you the love i did not give
the understanding i did not give
the faith i did not give
the strength i did not have
that you will eventually be well again
strong enough to seize the day once more
and get discovered by the one who truly deserves you.