Wednesday, June 25, 2008


first and foremost... babati muna me. happy birthday ahya!!!!!

ok, now that thats over and done with, off to business. found myself busy with work and with friends this past week. why things just happened all in the span of such a short time, i don't know. i have so many weeks wherein i had nothing to do and nothing happened. now that i actually have things to do, THINGS kept happening. not really complaining here, i'm just stating the fact :) i'm actually happy being swamped. sure beats having welts develop on ur butt for sitting hours on end in front of the PC thinking of what to do.... (yes ppl, i had days THAT slow)

was talking to a friend last night. i met him a few months back online and decided to meet on the spur of the moment. it's not really typical of me to meet ppl just like that but back then, i was having a bad day and i just needed to get out of the house. since i'm not the type to just go out if i didnt have an agenda, meeting him was good enough of a reason i thought. it also helped that we were practically neighbors.

as i am quite an empath (or so i think i am), my reading of this friend, who i shall call FA, was rather perplexing. initially he felt distant and on certain occasions while we were talking, feigning interest. of course back then, i was too consumed with being pissed to notice. as i got to know him better though, my readings of him grew deeper. i noticed a lot of inconsistencies with his behavior and, not wanting to sound judgmental, flaws in his character. i'm not saying i'm a saint here now, just stating my observations. it didnt really bother me so much that time since despite the fact that i was still in dating mode, i never really considered him as relationship material, but his behavior intrigued me. he kinda exhibited erratic spurts of emotions that, other than being weird, was quite enamoring actually. so i kept in touch.

he would text me every now and then when he feels like it, asking me to call him at home. having nothing better to do, i willingly entertain his requests. we would talk about almost anything, from what he was watching on TV that moment, to how uncomfortable his boxers felt, to his frustrations at work, to his latest downloads, yada, yada, yada. why i even bother listening, i don't know, i guess its because with him, i have learned in a way to listen beyond the seeming nonsensical jabber. in the end, all he was telling me was that he was lonely and i was the perfect reverberating wall to bounce his voice and thoughts off.

last night was one of those jabber sessions again. it was a tad bit more special since we were also counting down to his bday, which is today (happy bday again FA). he also took this occasion to open up about something regarding himself, something that he said he'd been meaning to tell me from the start but had never gotten himself to. i was of course ALL EARS.... he said that the times we were "seeing each other", and when he said "he liked me" (he did at one point, a thought that i just kinda brushed aside), he was already in a relationship. it was kinda on the rocks and he was kinda rebounding....

i wouldn't really say that i was flabbergasted with the statement, neither was i appalled enough to actually scream into his ear till his eardrums bursts and slam the phone on him. all i found myself saying was "ah... now it makes sense!". i guess my answer also caught him by surprise. all the times he was distant, all the times he felt distracted, lonely, longing, evasive, all those times makes a lot of sense now. my curiosity has been satiated finally.

of course i had to give him a bit of a hard time for "fooling" me and making me the "other woman"! but in the end, i still let him off the hook and told him im taking everything in good humor. i thanked him for coming clean and told him his disclosure had no way affected our friendship. i'm not sure if his confession has cleared up his conscience though since he still feels the same, but i'm hoping his gesture last night lightened up his burden, even by just a bit.

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