gloomy friday

Our help decided a few days ago to discontinue working for us. Shes been with us for just a few months. Though we cant really say her duties in the house are super important, having another person at home with mom would probably be the role we find most crucial. She said her mom is asking her to go back home, but our other sources tell us otherwise. Regardless, we let her go. No point in convincing someone to stay when they have been planning to leave from the day they arrived. 

Her departure will put all our lives on a topsy turvy again i guess, most especially now that mom tend to get panic attacks whenever the thought of her being alone at home hits her. Her attacks often starts benign with complains of shortness of breath, which escalates to hyperventilation to calls that she needs to go to the hospital, all however alleviated my gentle stokes to her back and chest with Vicks vapor rub and reassuring tones that God will not allow her to die just yet. 

Her attacks curiously happens always around meals at home... and only at meals at home. I have yet to still figure out what triggers it, but considering what im going thur myself, i may never know. 

I tried to do some design work this morning and noticed something i haven’t noticed before, i was having too a very small panic attack. It could be completely random so i dont want to give it too much meaning for now but hopefully, this was just a singular incident. 

I pray 2018 will be better.