and a pair of hands, fingers intertwined, was all that i needed to open the can of worms that i had thought i had sealed.
i was wrong to think that work and fatigue had run down my peripheral senses to the ground. why do i, until now, still doubt intuition? i wonder, if i had long trusted it and mastered its accuracy, more so its potential, then i might have truly have super powers by now... but no. i had to be a rationalizing cynic, and a good one at that, ending all possible hopes of me becoming one of those loony fortune tellers that milk rich people of every hard-earned cent they make by having them move furniture and their houses around to very odd and sometimes idiotic configurations.
hmmm, so, what comes next then, like john stan's blog?
the opening of the can of worms released again the same familiar feeling i have had not too long ago. questions led to more questions which led to a feeling of discomfort for the unanswered, which will lead me to introspect again, which will lead me to a spiral of comparing memories to the present, proving and disproving, until i finally find myself deeper and deeper in a thick, gooey muck... of worries, sighs and all that ugly stuff you only keep in a can of worms.
so i am resealing it again. no more muck for me. i am stopping before i even start, hence i am airing my thoughts here and now and hope they won't bother me again. i will not have hopes, i will not have judgments, i will not have opinions. i will only limit myself to be a witness of facts unfolding and nothing more. like hope as a wise friend said, longing too can be a dangerous thing.
i woke up this morning with something my mom told me once, also not too long ago. she said it to me upon learning about my pinings for the moon... i only realized now the concern that gave birth to her words... and that i got my supposed to be powers from her.
i grimace at how my week is ending... and to cap it off, the LSS in my head since this morning upon waking.... Ebben? ne andrò lontana from La wally by Alfredo Catalani, sung by timeless Maria. i swear... opera is the soundtrack of my soul.