"ikaw ha, why are you so jaded?", exclaimed my friend as i gave him my honest opinion about his very recent, failed attempt of getting into a relationship. though i don't think i took the comment seriously, it did get me thinking whether or not there was truth in what my friend said, that indeed, i was jaded with matters of the heart.
my saturday night was spent in the emotional autopsy room, in the pathology wing of boni high-street, in the company of my love-lost friend, his loyal BFF and my favorite toilet, poi. it had been a long day and an even longer week but considering the prospects of meeting faces apart from those i share my work with, i surprisingly found reserved energy still in me to drive the distance to have a brief meal, and even share a sinful donut treat, capping my week off with something totally work non-related... ahhh.
the travails of my dear friend was a familiar story. so familiar that details of which need not be retold again since it is with absoluteness that i say, we all know how the story already goes. i guess it was my seeming impatience to consider the many maneuvers and convolutions of the failed relationship and how i had already made my conclusions on the matter that warranted my friend to label me as "jaded". actually, even his BFF, who agreed with most of my opinions, said it as well. which leads me to ask, am i then, really?
i should be careful not to dismiss such observations too quickly for everything deserves to have it's say. i digested the fact and took the idea into great consideration. part of my ego would scoff at such a notion, saying that i am actually quite a romantic, and a jaded romantic in existence is like saying there are also honest politicians about. though it would definitely serve me well to end the argument there and keep my pride intact, i however could not be appeased. i then thought maybe i was just learning to be a realist, even practical. surely my views on weighing the pros and cons of people and how they would fare when they collide can be deemed logical. there is a great sense made when one looks at people and predict their actions and reactions, almost with a level of certainly, backed by observations stored deep in my roladex of random info as reference, like variables in a chemical reaction. sometimes, with the correct components in the right proportions, in their right states, the reaction results in pure harmony... other times however, you stand back, button your coat, wear your goggles and prepare yourself for a show!
it is with my second rationale that i more likely related myself to. jaded? nah.... i was being practical. logical. SPACK-ish. i am, at the end of the day oriental and practicality runs in my veins.
hmmm, then again, the jade is also my people's national gem.
8 comments:
ayan..sa kakaaccounting mo, naging jaded ka na. hehehehe :0
i think your friend didn't mean it that way. i think it was just his way of coming up with a quick retort after being hit with something so true, it hurt.
and apart from that, i think your friend is also good looking, kind, and lovable. so set him up with someone who has no issues. set him up with someone who is ready to love and be loved in return. :)
and jamie, we have got to see each other again soon! :)
i don't think you were being jaded. while most people consider "jaded romantic" to be antithetic, i think it's the only way to survive a regular relationship these days.
@theo. apostle paul once said... and the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. he obviously was not jewish enough! numbers can be murder as well!!! :)
@narnian. hes, i have to agree that my friend is, as you pointed out, good looking, kind, and lovable... for a spotted fish that is. so hard to find handsome creatures of the sea nowadays, noh? haaay. hopefully, he's overcoming this minor hiccup and come out stronger, more grounded, more secure and actually, happier. i read somewhere that sometimes, it's not what one gains that matter, but what one looses. my friend grew that day and in my book, growth is always a cause to be jubilant.
@cb. i guess i'm trying to grow out of my romantic ideals na. enuf of the sugar-coated theories i have derived from books and TV. real life is soooo different kaya.
it's a little sad pero i suppose we all have to go through it if we're to have any chance at a normal life. kailan kaya ako dadaan sa ganyan?
No Jamie, you were not being jaded. Your spotted fish of a friend was just in a situation that was oh so predictable, you came up with snap conclusions off that rolodex of yours.
Which reminds me: can you upgrade that damn rolodex?! That's oh so non-digital. How about replacing it with a Blue- or Blackberry? =)
"my friend grew that day and in my book, growth is always a cause to be jubilant."
that's great, if it were true. i hope he learned something from the experience.
and i don't think he's a spotted fish. taxonomy lessons honey. and in a time like this, you should just give him compliments! hahahaha
i guess with friends like you, he's well on his way to recovery.
bakit kasi nagdadrama pa at may nalalaman pang 3rd person point of view! it so feels like boy abunda asking yourself to talk to yourself. hehehe ;)
ang drama ni narnian! magkakasundo tayo! hahahhaha! :)
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