after having the ridiculous idea implanted in my head that my body can actually survive a 10K run, i decided to test my limits at the gym yesterday afternoon. i had been slaving over a couple of schemes for a client presentation the entire day already and after finding myself stuck in a rut, decided that a quick work out might do me some good.
i arrived at my gym 30mins earlier than my usual routine since i had planned running the 10K on the tread before hitting the weights. it takes me about 30 mins to do a 5K so i presumed, considering i don't suddenly DIE in my attempt, that a 30 minute head start would be enough. it was only 6pm then, gym buddy hasn't arrived yet and considering he hasn't texted me asking of my whereabouts, there was also a good possibility he wasn't coming at all. i went in to the locker room and saw a couple of the usuals i work out with. as i mentioned before, my gym is quite small and through the years, i have already befriended a lot of the regulars, even if just as mere acquaintances. at that time, there were only these 2 guys, whom from overhearing their conversations, were discussing techniques on how to bulk up, normal talk in these quarters. it was however that NORMAL only lasted until one of these guys took out a syringe and shoved the needle onto the other guy's shoulder. now, i have been fully aware of people using steroids at my gym for the longest time. it was only logical to assume since guys talk about it so much as well as seeing people blow up like a balloon in only a few months time, especially near competition season (like now). though i would have thought that i was comfortable knowing about people using it, to witness people actually shoot up however, well... was a different thing. i was changing at that time and i could have sworn that i never changed so fast in my life (wonder woman, 'te!). there was a sense of panic there and i really wanted to get out of the locker room as fast as i could. i couldn't really understand my reaction but seeing these guys just made me feel too uncomfortable, and even to a degree, disgusted.
i had been offered steroids before, much more now that i have lost a lot of weight and am lean enough to show cuts. the trainers, even some of the patrons here highly suggest it saying how it would make me look so much better, bulkier, leaner. though my vanity was admittedly intrigued with the possibility of finally achieving the physique that i had always craved for, my higher senses just could not be convinced. it may have taken me this long (7 years) to reach this point of reinventing my appearance, but i know i worked hard for it and earned every single bit of change, how undefined they may still be. i got into working out for health reason since i was quite sickly due to my sedentary lifestyle, and could not imagine why i would risk harming myself just to look "healthy".
though there is still much debate as to the effects of steroids (surprisingly), i believe there is a reason why shooters have to buy their loads covertly from horse vets and why they have to shoot each other behind closed doors (though, with what happened in my case, they seem to be getting bolder by the day). as i think about what i saw yesterday, i cannot help it but feel saddened by how ignorance and vain foolishness can lead people in doing the most horrible and stupid things.