i have thought about this many times already and have weighed in the many pros as well as the many cons, and though i find myself constantly surrounded by people pairing up, getting married and having families of their own, i seem to have found myself slowly become more and more comfortable with the fact that sometimes, being single can be ok too.
of course my situation is more complicated than your average bear since, i doubt not everyone can live an oxymoronic existence and still be happy, but then i learn to make peace with myself as i go along. there is an inexhaustible strength from my source and i just have to remind myself constantly never to break ties with it. though i cannot honestly say that my relationship with God is ideal, i try to adhere as much to my faith and to the faint whispering issued by this belief, hoping that one of these days, my obedience will lead me to greater enlightenment.
living is however, difficult still. i am too a physical being with fleshly needs, my nature predisposing me to trip and fall every now and then. it is through these situations, however, that i appreciate the great value of redemption and how even, in the lowest of lows of my despair, i still have a choice to choose whether to remain in darkness or to look up and climb back towards the light. i have also realized that sometimes, valleys are also as important as troughs. change in resistance improves endurance and in this race we call life, the better your endurance, the longer you can run and survive the long haul.
* * * * *
i felt a smile form on my face, a feeling of contentment growing inside as i voiced out my views further, my patient companion with me, reciprocating my attention. i paused, taking a moment to reflect on what was happening. my smile lingered on. my thoughts echoed in my head. i realized i sincerely believed in the things that i said. my heart and my mind and my spirit had finally come to a peaceful agreement.
a lot more were talked about while my empty cup of coffee rested on the table in front of me. it bore witness to two souls exchanging views, connecting, communicating. sharing a healthy discourse involving revelations as well as inspirations.
if that cup were alive and had consciousness, i would sincerely believe it would now be the wisest of its kind.