Friday, March 6, 2009

bear in reflection

it was a familiar topic, the matter of my solitude.

i have thought about this many times already and have weighed in the many pros as well as the many cons, and though i find myself constantly surrounded by people pairing up, getting married and having families of their own, i seem to have found myself slowly become more and more comfortable with the fact that sometimes, being single can be ok too.

of course my situation is more complicated than your average bear since, i doubt not everyone can live an oxymoronic existence and still be happy, but then i learn to make peace with myself as i go along. there is an inexhaustible strength from my source and i just have to remind myself constantly never to break ties with it. though i cannot honestly say that my relationship with God is ideal, i try to adhere as much to my faith and to the faint whispering issued by this belief, hoping that one of these days, my obedience will lead me to greater enlightenment.

living is however, difficult still. i am too a physical being with fleshly needs, my nature predisposing me to trip and fall every now and then. it is through these situations, however, that i appreciate the great value of redemption and how even, in the lowest of lows of my despair, i still have a choice to choose whether to remain in darkness or to look up and climb back towards the light. i have also realized that sometimes, valleys are also as important as troughs. change in resistance improves endurance and in this race we call life, the better your endurance, the longer you can run and survive the long haul.

* * * * *

i felt a smile form on my face, a feeling of contentment growing inside as i voiced out my views further, my patient companion with me, reciprocating my attention. i paused, taking a moment to reflect on what was happening. my smile lingered on. my thoughts echoed in my head. i realized i sincerely believed in the things that i said. my heart and my mind and my spirit had finally come to a peaceful agreement.

a lot more were talked about while my empty cup of coffee rested on the table in front of me. it bore witness to two souls exchanging views, connecting, communicating. sharing a healthy discourse involving revelations as well as inspirations.

if that cup were alive and had consciousness, i would sincerely believe it would now be the wisest of its kind.


Anonymous said...

ayayay. there are times it gets... depressing.

sometimes, friends are just not enough. :(

wanderingcommuter said...

theres really nothing bad bout being single. just enjoy it!

jamie da vinci! said...

@narnian. it's a process, dealing with sadness. but as i said, i daily try to make peace with it. i cannot expect to be happy everyday anyway but at least, i can be content. friends come and go, it's yourself, at the end of the day, that you will have to eventually depend on.

@ewik. there really isn't, hence, i try to have a blast at each day! :) have fun on ur food trip! :)

Anonymous said...

this might come off as really self centered but what the heck.

I feel at times that I'm in this outrageously cool journey, I'm loving it and it would be really really really lovely to have someone to share it with.

so there.

Eternal Wanderer... said...

Beautiful piece.

But solitude is the fate of a bear, is it not? ;)

jamie da vinci! said...

@narnian. be patient, hooved mcavoy. for all you know, that person is nearer than you think. solitude isn't really for all creatures you know. look at lions and tigers?

@eternal wanderer. basing on the scent i gather from the blowing of the polar winds... it seems, this is my fate. either that, or someone ate beans... :)

dabo said...

aba nagsama-sama ang mga wanderers

dabo said...

i wish you serenity jaime.. everyday.

ShatterShards said...

(Un)fortunately for you, it is in the nature of the polar bear to be solitary. They don't even have the luxury of a common salmon hunting ground that the Browns enjoy.

You hunt your seal and you eat it; or some other polar bear will eat it for you -- and injure you in the process.

Fortunately, one can learn to live with solitude, and be strong in that realization.


Thanks for following my blog, by the way. :-)

Mugen said...

Glad you found bliss in solitude. I'm happy for you.

How I wish I'd be able to see the light, and for a change, detach myself from my inner desires and let things be.

The Pacts I made are just chains which unnecessarily hold me back. There are times I wonder how life would be if I would just let go.

I had a near miss last night. Had it happened. I would wake up today, probably in different state from where I was two days ago.

E said...

sige lets get married na, seriously, I love those "feed my fish" things ehehehehe...

You always have to ask yourself, do you feel like having a partner because you are surrounded by couples or do you want to have a partner because you are ready to share your life with someone....

There are some people who are meant to be single and there are others who are destined to be in a relationship...You choose