Tuesday, November 11, 2008

gym with bananas in pajamas

i never really thought i would feel, or even think like this but.... dang! men are DOGS i tell you! DOGS!!!!

i found myself in a most uncomfortable of situations while i was working out with my gym buds, B1 and B2 last night. not too far down in doing our sets, B1, being the chatterbox that he is, started talking about girls. now, don't get me wrong. though this really isn't my topic of choice when i am in the middle of pressing 180lbs., i'm not really the type who would shy away when spoken to, since, being who i am, i am rather opinionated (this blog is a testament to that). but curiously, their conversation about the daughters of apollo quickly became something so alien to me that it almost felt like a deliberate attempt by them to leave me speechless.

over the many months of me working out with them, though it was initially awkward, i have already become used to the things they usually talk about. B1 would often start with "pare! alam mo ba.... ?", his trade-mark precursor to any man gossip he has to offer while trying to chicken out of lifting (yes, i am also "pare" to them, since i doubt either of them knows i too can go by "mare"). i brace myself for the following testesterone laden words that comes after, trying my best to relate since GOD ONLY KNOWS how much i know little about the usual topics, i.e., basketaball, basketball shoes, basketball players, cars, F1, sexy actresses, sexy actress b-films, straight porn, girlfriends, and yes... girls, in that order.

i at first just find myself grinning or smiling or pretending to be too out of breath to respond when they try to get my opinion, but eventually, after gathering enough info about these MANLY subjects throughout the months, i have at least mustered the couraged to peep a few words every now and then. JUST AS I WAS getting comfortable talking (and learning) about these topics, they lay on me another that seriously, i doubt i will ever feel comfortable talking about. prostitutes.

as if sharing tips in investment or pondering on the issues that can alleviate world hunger, they exchanged stories and their honest "critique" about their ventures. where to go, who to look for, how much to pay, what to do... and what to make the people they pay TO do. to say that i was dumbfounded is putting things lightly. i quickly felt "ilang" and soon enough, the undeniable flavor of disgust, while i listened. "pare! sarap nya! kinis pa, galing pang magmasahe. tapos sa huli, hihipuin ka nalang tapos... yun na, bahala na kayo!" obviously, this was not a discussion i wanted to be a part of, and thankfully so, they were both so engrossed in their banter that i was completely ignored. good thing as well since i would have most probably blurt out some weird info like "did you know that the female vulva has SEVEN openings all in all!!!??". yes..... i can see now how much THIS can further spice things up for them (jun jun DOWN)

i really can't understand why i feel so affected by this, so much that the discomfort has carried on to today, the day after. maybe because i have had close encounters with prostitutes myself. i have seen young girls in bangkok, intoxicated and high, shoving things up their privates to wow tourists of their highly skilled body parts. their pimps offering me the freshest meat, in catalogues and colored pamphlets, like shopping coupons! i have been approached in the streets of shanghai, porcelain skinned china dolls, fur cladded, smoking and freezing in the dead of winter seeking for some warm reprieve, in whatever guise it may be. i have seen the "ghosts" that lurk the streets of global dubai, women and men of different colors and shapes and sizes, some trying desperately to make ends meet, some trying to sample more what this worldly city has to offer. i have seen the figures along quezon avenue, avenida, burgos, makati avenue, they dart out of the shadows whenever a car slows down near the sidewalk, hoping for business. from these encounters i have had through the years, i honestly cannot find myself to feel, more so, fathom how people can lust for them and not an overwhelming sense of pity and sadness. no one deserves to sell themselves, and no one should ever feel that it is ok to "buy" them as well.

ok ok. i was trying to lighten up the topic but OBVIOUSLY, that no longer is the case. i am just so bothered. i mean, women have played great roles in my life and i seriously cannot see them being maligned and talked about like they were some cheap toy one can haphazardly and irresponsibly play with. though i didn't get to offer my two cents about the topic with my gym buds, i felt that i should have since women and their empowerment is something i feel dearly about.

really now (ugh... major emo vomit coming up!!!), don't these people have mothers, sisters, daughters? don't patrons of this humanitarian crime ever realize that they are contributing to a grave social injustice? that they are, indirectly, proponents of slavery? i recall watching this clip i stumbled on youtube about an armenian journalist going undercover and infiltrating the human trafficking that caters to the flesh lust in dubai. dubai has probably the highest men to women ratio in the planet and this surplus of sausages and eggs has been the leading cause for the thriving sex trade, as well as having a very colorful gay underground culture (but more of that in another entry). armenian girls are tricked with jobs and opportunities to alleviate themselves and their families from poverty in the city of gold, only to find themselves, literally, imprisoned and a captive of their handlers. stripped of their travel documents, their money, their freedom and the dignity, they work to pay off their debt which their pimps shelled out to bring them in the country. it was a sad, sad story, the images still very fresh in my head more than a year later. i too am sure that these stories are not unique to the armenians as well. these girls who work in these health and entertainment dens can vouch for me on that.

though B1 and B2 had no such sentiments while they were teasing each other last night and though we may have very different views when it comes to what pleasures we seek (me being food and, duh, shopping!) i'm not really holding it against either of them. we accept each other for what we are and respect each others opinions. though maybe next time, when they do talk about it again, i would choose not to keep my mouth shut anymore and offer my comments on the issue. i'm sure the discussion would not go in the direction they would wish it to go, but i don't think i should tolerate the propagation of more types of social crimes, like ignorance and indifference.


gentle said...

so deeply, terribly affected with your ordeal with b1 and b2. i share the same sentiment, how can you feel lust for someone your paying? pity, pity...

The Wandering Dreamer said...

how can you feel lust for someone your paying?

I don't know it with girls, but if you're paying a (slightly older/younger) man to have sex with you, in those brief moments of lustful bliss I feel that I'm in control of someone.

180 lbs? Benchpress? Free weights? Wow you're a god!

jamie da vinci! said...

@gentle. pity is right. heart wrenching on some occasions. but then, my feeling have never gone beyond myself. i have yet to step through the threshold of actually helping.

@mugen. paying someone to have control over them doesn't sound like genuine control. i really can't see the point, though i know how addicting it can be, the feeling of dominating.

hihihihi... what can i say, i have lots of angst to get rid off :) better to hit iron than hit people :) iron doesnt hit back kasi! bwahahaha!

gentle said...

but how? if you're thinking helping sex workers one person at a time, that would be very awkward. imagine approaching or waiting to be approached; the customary exchanges over, paid for the hotel accomodations and everything then telling the girl, "nope, we wont do it, lets play 'kulot' instead. i'll buy you a set of rollers and manicure paraphernalia later so you could have a pangkabuhayan showcase". isn't that a little too "wish ko lang"? hehehe. ate vicky kaw ba yan? :)

jamie da vinci! said...

@gentle. i am a strong believer that proper education is empowering. probably by simply opening a way out to these people will be enough for them to dig themselves out out this hole.