i should be sleeping, but i kept waking up, my body cranked up already from the adrenaline surging through my body i speak, er, TYPE!
set my alarm to ring at 3am but was already up by 1:30. awake and fully alert. my head is aching still, probably since my body is trying to figure out what's the matter with me (i think part of my body is still asleep while the rest is already in full throttle). i have been trying to calm myself down but unfortunately, i have not yet mastered the technique to do so. i know this is a slight over reaction but honestly, my brain, the pituitary gland and my adrenal cortices, can't really tell the difference between a real emergency and me just stressed! proving the point that the mind really is over matter, but in my case, it's on the negative side.
so here i am, typing away, hoping that by blogging about this, would realize that i have, yet again, blown things out of proportion. i am wasting precious energy, and sleep for that matter, on something that really shouldn't be stressing me out so much. breathe, jamie, breathe.....
distraction, yeah, that's what i need. a distraction. unfortunately for me, i REALLY can't think straight, not even enough to figure out something to distract me. ugh! my head is spinning now. hmmm, that seems to be a good distraction. gosh... i noticed that i bit my nails again.
mental note: you're highly anxious. you're thumb is bleeding, btw.
i'm laughing now. this is soooooo stupid!!!!! think another morning jog, jame, just another morning jog!!!! no biggie! snap out of it!!!!!!
ok, ok... i'll be fine. i'll be fine. relax.... relax..... (blogging yoga, anyone?)
hmmm, so i guess me packing my stuff like i just got kicked out of the house is an over reaction too?
i desperately need professional help.