my first time...

dust clouds must have erupted as my brain rummaged through old memories again, stirred about by a curious tale, a tale that sounded too familiar.

i had seen her once before, but never really paid her much attention for i was never one who minded strangers. bumping into her often, however, in the small school that we were in, made her a constant figure to my days and somehow, though we never spoke to each other before, she became less of a stranger to me and more a person i would like to know one day.

that day eventually came as classes began that semester. we were transferred to a new building, to a new city, to new surrounds, far away from the manila campus we had so accustomed ourselves to. you could tell we all tried to steady ourselves at first, acclimate in a way to having been uprooted and set onto new soil. our pasts felt insignificant and we were all given a fresh start. beginnings always present us with opportunities i guess, for indeed, in no time at all and by some way i can no longer recall, i found myself engaged in a conversation with this girl; the stranger-lady who walked through the corridors of my old school; whose face i see reading a book in our library; whose chuckling i hear when she gossips with her friends. this lady was no longer a stranger to me, for now i know her name, and it was "beautiful".

it did not take me long to become close to her. it was not that difficult to be her friend. she carried herself with certain simplicity, an endearing countenance that made her rather charming, if i may be allowed to use the word to describe a woman. she was kind woman, a meek woman, gentle and very soft spoken. she was a trusting woman, a caring woman and delicate in every way. it was no surprise really why people are drawn to her, why i was drawn to her, for how really can one help it when in the presence of such goodness? goodness, if there would be a word that i can sum her up with. goodness, the kind that makes you smile with a heart filled with content.

things felt simple when i was around her. she offered me a sense of clarity that i have never experienced with anyone before, a feeling of being uncomplicated, something that i have to admit, i am not really used to but gladly was, because of her, ready to explore. my sense of well being, and the issues thereof, was what i offered to her in return. i made myself a constant and reliable companion to her, ready and available whenever she would need me. it was the least i could do, i thought. it was the least i could do for the person, i didn't know it yet at that time, who i was steadily falling for.