Thursday, August 13, 2009

incongruent mornings

my alarm sounded off on the dot, 530am, my phone now a blinking beacon in the darkness of my room. the usual panic that i trust to wake me up as i scramble to turn my alarm off, wasn't there however. i opened my eyes, mind semi-lucid. i rolled in my bed and reached over to pick up my phone. i looked at it, rather curiously, squinting a bit as it grew brighter with each passing second, and then thought to myself... what now? i pressed the OFF button clumsily and dropped my phone, it now lost in the disheveled sea that was my bed.

i stared up into the ceiling, but i did not see it. i was still lying on my bed, but i could not feel it. my body was bare to the air-con wind, but i could not sense it. i was present, but i was not conscious. my mind was still in its initial slur. i stayed there for a few minutes, waiting, simply being, staying in that state when your mind is still, silent, and yet you know it is just starting to warm up. my morning mind-less reverie. a reflex blink was what eventually broke the spell, followed by a long deep breath. the expanding of my chest and the discomfort of the stretch sent the violence of waking through my whole body. muscles started to tense, ligaments and tendons distending in the process. joints creaked and cracked. organs grumbled and greeted. my skin flushed warm and was enlivened. and my mind, though still struggling to collect itself, was churning as well. the ceiling finally manifested, its speckled texture and how much i disliked how dated it looked. my bed smelled of my musk mixed with a subtle hint of soap, just the way i like it. a sharp poke... on my back told me that i had unknowingly rolled on top of my phone. a muffled beep as i received my first morning text from a friend, asking how dad was, confirmed it. i felt a gradual surge of goosebumps crawl over my body, the nippy air finally had its effect.

i gently propped myself up to sit and waited to get accustomed to the change in position. i stood up and walked over to open my room door. outside, the sun was just beginning to peak through the thick overcast sky and the world was already bustling without me. the sights and the sounds of the morning, and all the mornings before it reminded me of the hundred and one things i have to do in the hours ahead. my mind was now in full throttle.

1 comment:

Yj said...

some mornings i love, some mornings i hate.....

kahit alin diyan okay lang, kesa hindi ako magising ")