now that i am older

i think i have unconsciously started practicing being blunt. i just find myself saying exactly what i think without many of the usual embellishments i do to make what i say, hmmm, more palatable. i guess turning a year older and finally embracing how un-young i am made me finally let go of being too mindful of how ppl would react towards me. now that i am older, thinking about whether people will or will not like me doesnt feel too important anymore. i would like to think i have already gotten for myself a steady pool of trusted people, all of whom know me well enough not to take offense if in case i do serve my observations cold and raw. i think of it as me doing them well by telling them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.

then, there are also those acquaintances, practical strangers really, whom, after long scrunity, i have deduced to be those who really need the cold, hard, unpretty truth slapped onto their faces. those who seem to live in a bubble and constantly find ppl to reinforce their delusion. i know a few actually. i really should stop patronizing them. i think it's even more mean to feed their warped sense of reality than to just be honest, even if it means you have to be harsh.

case in point. i got a SMS from a guy i haven't spoken to in a long while. so long, i actually deleted his number from my phone already, TWICE. once, since he just became dormant. the second time because i found him too narcissistic after he pried his way back into my life. anyway, "boy out of the blue" started asking about a friend, apparently his all-time, long-time crush. since he saw us together in a picture and he still had my number (DRAT!), he decided it was the perfect time to be friends with me again and touch base.

at first i wasn't too concerned with how he was babbling on how much he was in to my friend (despite them NEVER having met before). i even prodded him to take his chances and ask him out. he then asked for his mobile. that was when my senses kicked in.

"wait one darn pick'n minute!!!! why the hell should i give his number to you? i don't even know you that well. HECK! i don't even like you that much! i deleted you number TWICE for goodness sakes!" was what i thought to myself.

he continued on prodding me for info. the guy was starting to annoy me. it was that rekindled irritation that made me remember why i didn't like him so much. this was the guy who would call me at 3-freak'n-am while i'm fast asleep, only to ask me if i was asleep!!!! and get this.... after i would answer him a dull "YES" in my sleepiest of tones, he would STILL carry on chatting about whatever nonesense that happened to him in the day, in the province, about his dog, or whatever topic i could really care less about. it got so bad, he was the first person i said, and in as rude of a tone as i could muster at 3am "boy. you woke me up at 3am for this? i'm going back to sleep!" then i hung up. needless to say, he never called me back, much to my utter delight.

honestly though, i sometimes wonder, why did i ever feel consciencious about dealing with people like him. now that im being bluntly honest, i think i have to start learning to be harsh with myself as well. for now though, i had to create a profile in this networking site to snoop him out, just so i can give accurate info to my friend in case he becomes now the object of his inconsiderate attention.