because i DON'T want to wallow

during times like this when i feel like it would be a good thing to fall into distress and just begin doing what i do best, that is feel sorry for myself, i stop to collect my bearings and slap senses into myself again. "the world will not end... yet." "there is still hope for tomorrow." and "you will get through this a better, more experienced person" is what i try to convince myself. they're almost like a auto brainwash, a conscious effort to preoccupy and distract myself from falling into nega and just stay fine. it takes a lot of work to fight against my habit. it feel more work if you barely have any more will power left. with clicking my ruby-reds and chanting my "there's no place like home"'s, i find myself wanting to write all of a sudden, to a person i have only met once but have never spoken to before. permit me to have this random act since, trust me, this is way better than you guys hearing me wallow.

so this guy. i met him once in this gathering. never really paid him much attention since, i was too busy dividing my attention to the ppl around me. but as my focus grew more and more splintered, he opened his mouth and spoke. this was all he did that made him the object of my undivided attention. suddenly in a room full of so-sos and ho-hums, a beacon started to blink. there was really nothing special with this guy, nothing really remarkable to say the least. i however, for some reason found him curious. i found him interesting to a point that he was all i really remembered in that gathering, this considering i never spoke to him nor him with me. to this guy, thanks for breaking the monotony of that night by opening you mouth. your words, though were not directed to me, i found were too adorable to ignore. i hope, as you spend your days now, living your life in the city, that you have a great one. live a happy one. live a fulfilling one. live a life full of thanksgiving and appreciation, add to that one from a wandering bear who just chanced to have eavesdropped :)

ahh, that made me feel much better.

hmmm. makes me now find something new to do next time i attend these parties. look for that person who will make that night seem unforgettable.

mader.... u know who was the apple of my eye the last time :)