dexter, the empath

i still remember it clearly.

i was having my despidida with my friends in bur dubai at this small coffee shop behind the mall. being the loud bunch that we always are, it didn't take that long for the small shop to start echoing with our noise. in the middle of our bantering, i asked one of my friends, prof, whom i have always known to be "special" to give me a reading.

PROF was my rendering teacher back in design school. like a lot of my teachers back then, she was pretty cool and very friendly. her pleasant demeanor as well as her quirky charm definitely aided in her instruction as she was always mesmerizing during class. it did not take long that we (my friends and i) would eventually befriend her. her stint as our teacher however did not last long as she got an offer to work abroad during mid sem. it was sad to see her go but we all understood her reasons. we tried to stay in touch but things just eventually faded as years went by though we keep in contact through friendster.

imagine my surprise when one day i got a message from her that of all places we would cross paths again, it would be in the desert!

i learned of prof's talents in the psychic arts from kay, my gurlfriend. prof had been lately practicing pranic healing and has become quite good at it. though i can't really say that i am a fan of the occult, i can say that i was curious of it since i am full aware that we also move in a supernatural realm. her being very accessible only made my curiosity almost too strong to handle. i didn't really want to ask her to exhibit her skills since i know that by her doing so, it depletes her strengths immensely (she is learning how to control that now, as well), but i took my chances when another friend asked her first if she could show us some of her "tricks".

prof started by rubbing her hands together. she said it energizes her chakra so to make her more sensitive. she then started to palpate the air around me, trying to get an idea of my aural field. now... i was pretty skeptical actually with all of this mumbo-jumbo so i didn't really pay attention to her as she waved her hands in the air around me. i instead was talking to the friend beside me about some topic i can no longer remember, that was, until i felt a strong distinct nudge on my back. i turned to see who it was or what it was that nudged me, but there was no one there, only prof sitting across the table, still waving her hand, her face looking particularly strained.

"jamie! yung aura mo.... ang lakas!" her hands scooped the air around me, the nudge coming from HER DIRECTION!

"prof..... you're PUSHING ME!!!!" i said in excitement. "e ang lakas e, tingnan mo 'to" she pushed the empty space again, this time from another direction and true enough, the nudging shifted. basing on her reading, i had a vast aural field, something that she attributed to empaths, people who are sensitive to their environments. she then proceeded to interview me if i really were such.

do you feel drained for no apparent reason when you are surrounded by other people? yes. as i have mentioned before, i am a susceptible victim of emotional vampires. shove me with a straw already and get it over with!

do you know what something really means? reading between the lines? yes, very recently, since the stresses at work had reached a tipping point and people have become paranoid as well as who is pro-company and those who are anti (sounds soooo local politics), i have learned to read people and also the cryptic messages that they would address to me. it has become an art. i also found to have a sense on non verbal communication as well. gestures speak louder than words sometimes.

do you feel compelled to help anyone in pain, even those who have hurt you? do i EVER!!? mother Theresa, if she was still alive, would have a run for her money! (if she had any, that is, er, was) i call it the superman syndrome. off to save the world as if i have atlas-like powers to bear the globe's burdens on my shoulders. sadly, all my attempts just leave me defeated and fatigued.... but that has never really stopped me, obviously.

do people suddenly open up to you? all i need is a couch and i am by default, every one's shrink. when asked, people say that i feel non-threatening and non-judgemental. that i exude an air of comfort and safety, enough for them to divulge secrets not even their closest friends or love ones know. in the past few years of me meeting these people, i have become a repository of wishes, skeletons and everything else in between. thank goodness i never get to remember who told them to me, only their stories! :)

can i heal? i was a physical therapist. it was my JOB!!!

by the end of the conversation, prof confirmed that i was indeed a genuine empath. actually, i had already known from long ago that i had a strange ability. it explained why i don't like being in crowds, why i detest needy people, why i had to learn how to have unlimited patience, why i had to keep myself on the moral high ground, why i would become so gravely negative most of the time. it also explained why mothers and grandmothers love me, why old people are drawn to me, why young gay twinks message me all of a sudden, why mortal enemies never stay that way with me for long.

prof gave me the proper term that day. empath. i on the other hand had given it a name long before, he was dexter, the right.