mad.

it was a dismal day that didn't turn out any better.

my family decided to visit my lola yesterday. she has been having health problems lately and we thought having family over to give her support would lighten up her spirits. it was already late in the afternoon and quite frankly, the boredom of the uneventful day had already sucked me out of all life. though i don't think i have much to offer my lola, the change of surrounds could be good for me. definitely better than laying home idle and having my mind wander to places it really shouldn't go.

while driving to lola's i suddenly got a message from someone i know. i didn't understand it at first, and i found myself reading it again and again. it was allegedly a message written by the sister of a friend, informing me that my friend just passed away and that funeral arrangements were now being made.

to say that i found myself suddenly disoriented would be an understatement. i tried to stay calm but it was already too late. my brain was already racing. i tried calling the sender but the number was busy. this can't be true... how could it be true??? i suddenly found myself shaking. i was beginning to panic. my mom was beside me and noticed the distress on my face. she asked me what was happening and i tried to lie to her, pretending nothing was wrong. i, obviously was a poor liar. even my brother got involved, asking me what was happening since my voice was beginning to break and i was starting to hyperventilate. my anxiety attack had set it and i began to feel light-headed.

the message mentioned two names, the name of my friend's sister and the name of my friend. i don't know the the sister so her identity, as far as i was concerned, was irrelevant. my friend's name tho... i only know of two people bearing that name... one of which was "him". the thoughts of him dead raced in my head. i wanted to throw up, i wanted to scream in the car. i looked up his number in my phone and despite promising to leave him in peace, i called.

i had to know. i had to know it wasn't him.

a few rings after, an unfamiliar voice answered. my heart sank and all blood drained from my body. he cleared his voice.... "jamie?"

i breathe a sigh of relief. i stumbled on my words, still trying to act calm in my attempt to explain to him what happened. my family, i knew, was also listening to our conversation.

a few clarifications later... i found out, it was a prank.

A SICK SICK PRANK.

i used a term with mcvie once to describe how wrathful one can get with utmost hate and anger, without resulting to profanities and expletives.... i called it (and i ask for the author's pardon) "to go CHRONICLES OF E on him!"

that is what i felt. i called up the sender again. he finally picked up the phone and greeted me "april fool's". i hung up on him, too mad to talk, too mad too deal, too mad to care, too mad to find ANYTHING about the death of a friend or my former love funny. too mad now to even bother saving a friendship.

kuya said it right: "anong klase ba yang kaibigan mo? walang kuwenta!"

how the fucking hell am i supposed to help cheer up my LOLA now??