it's all in the voice

i have noticed that whenever i used the second or the third person voice in writing my posts, i tend to sound more "emo". despite how much i have been trying not to sound so dramatic, or rather, TRAGIC (so say my beloved kuya) in my writing, i seem to keep falling back to my same old style. there is obviously comfort in being able to express one's self and yet, make it seem like you're talking about a totally different person. projecting, am i? i'm no shrink or literary genius, but for all i know, i could be building for myself an imaginary voodoo doll of my repressed, unexpressed, CONSTIPATED self and having him serve as my proxy in living life, well, just all the downsides of it, if i have to be more specific.

when writing in the first person however, like what i'm doing now, almost instantaneously, the tone becomes lighter, more candid and definitely un-emo! either the first-person-me is really jovial by nature, or like in some psychoanalytical mess, the first-person-me is just too much of a coward to face his (3rd person) demons and hide behind humor and plainness, only to address them once focus is shifted back to the imaginary third-person.

i think i learned writing like this back when i was in high school. i recall my english teacher teaching us how to properly construct introductions. always use the third person voice, was what she said. all this time when doing my theme papers, i have always used the first person, why shouldn't i? i was deriving from personal experiences and putting down my thoughts, i should own every word. however, this wasn't the case when doing formal papers apparently. i have forgotten the real reason why we use the third person, something about avoiding liability, that or it just sounds MORE SERIOUS if you phrase your words as "the proponents" or "the researchers" rather than "my friends and i".

why the sudden fuss over voices, you may ask. well, bespren from Turkey says that i am overly dramatic when i write. i really cannot deny. i am. i have been trying to change it, but as i said, i keep back sliding to the same, old, self-cannibalizing default. then, while sitting on the can this morning.... i realized THE pattern. the voice i used was the catalyst. hehehehehehe, i had an AHA! moment in the middle of the push.

i also realized something else.... may bago akong CRUSH. ahahahahaha! pero friendly crush lang to. shucks.... feeling high school!