bored

boredom is a withdrawal symptom from the stresses of modern life.

right now, i am so bored, it's fucking up my hormones. i feel tired, sluggish, and a tad bit horny. i'm also a little depressed.

i'm trying my best to stay still, to stay present, to stay within the moment. this is like when you're fasting and you begin to feel sick because your blood is now being flushed with toxins released from your bowels. i can feel that a part of me wants to break away and escape, but i'm trying to hold on to reality. face it like a grown man. i guess the sexual urges are a form of escape as well. can't seem to get the image of a guy i met last night out of my head. i know i'm not deeply interested, but right now, you can tape his face to a lamp post and i'd probably hit on him (it, whatever).

i sincerely want to dip myself in a warm pool, and have skilled hands work out all my tension (issues). the offers of something extra would hurt, though i know i am too virginal to bite. the prospects of it just possibly happening is all the adrenaline fix i need.

feeling warm now. hot maybe. images of cute waiters from chelsea, this miniaturized victor basa look-alike from high street, *ehem* and sando wearing tisoy in the pedicab who looked straight into my car as i came home last night now feeding the lust flames.

some HOLY week i'm having....