Saturday, July 18, 2009

timely help

john: hi there

Me: hi john. no work today?

john: no work on sat you at work?

Me: yup.
dunno why but i feel restless
must be one of those days again, i guess

john: restless in what sense?

Me: i get anxiety attacks every now and then
no particular reason

john: about work?
about personal matters?

Me: a bit of everything i guess

john: siguro age din natin
he he
when there is a lot of concern for the future
but He shepherds us in a special way through our anxious moments

Me: i know
was praying in the car
but had flashbacks of bad times in dubai when i did
hehehe, the praying made it worse

john: he he..
didn't know you had bad times back there
he he

Me: there were

john: really bad or slight bad?

Me: really bad

john: naku
he he

Me: but what doesn't break u makes u stronger i guess
u get buffeted
still, there's emotional remnants of those times...

john: he he it depends from which perspective you want to view it

Me: ... that get elicited every now and then

john: from the human standpoint it seems to be that way
but there is the danger that we, our natural man, fall into the condition of a war veteran
with scars which we somehow are proud to have endured
he he
but totoo yan

Me: o, i try not to parade mine

john: na me emotional remnants

Me: if i cud forget i wud

john: yes i know what you mean
there are things na sometimes you wish you could have forgotten or that they have never happened at all
but they did and are now part of your history
he he
but the Lord allowed them to happen
which means you needed those to experience Him..
I do ask the Lord sometimes
why He allowed certain things to happen

Me: well, thankfully so
the Lord gave me wisdom to see the intent of His ways
despite the hardships
i thank Him still that they happened
wudnt change anything really
well, maybe just how i reacted

john: yes we can thank Him even for those things

Me: i guess for me now
its more about dealing with those emotional remnants of those past events

john: alam mo there are times i tend to linger in past hurts

Me: they can be debilitating

john: minsan the Lord impressed me

Me: linger? hehehe, im good at that

john: about "forgetting the things which are behind.."
by pursuing Him
so siguro
when we pursue Him more, there is more ability from Him to forget
kasi you are more occupied
with more experiences of Him
and more enjoyment of Him
we can only be occupied by certain things to a certain extent
limited vessels that we are
so either we contain the emotional hurdles
or let the Lord fill us more..
there is wisdom in forgetting to pursue
he he
by virtue of our being vessels
and another time
the Lord impressed me
we are like perennially sick persons
in need of medication for maintenance

Me: yes we are

john: until we are fully transformed
so when we dont take our medicine
the symptoms appear again
so the Lord is the Healer and the medicine esp to these wounds in our being
but in principle we have to take the medicine
and do so continually
until we are fully healed
but then it's not all medicine
there is also enjoyable food and nourishment
so that when we take Him in He is all these things to us

: i sincerely need to pursue more.

john: sorry I failed to help you in that matter
he he


john: we can always resume

: true true.

john: singit natin
sa busy sched mo he he

Me: why not?

when i find myself in low times, the hand of God, ever so timely, comes to scoop me up.


Theo Martin said...

alam mo totoo yan. talagang pag walang-wala ka na always seek Him kasi andyan lng siya to fill you up ;)

MkSurf8 said...

it is when we learn to fully surrender that we find peace.