Sunday, July 12, 2009

choosing the lesser "worse"

i admit. i care far too much. i really should learn not to give a damn about a lot of things and have tried, but every time i attempt to be calloused or indifferent or even frank, i screw things up by saying things i really don't mean. i come across as hurtful, abrasive, rude and tactless, characteristics i was taught as a child were some of the worse things a civilized human can be or do to a fellow human. i end up feeling miserable, even more than the draining feeling of being emotionally available and empathetic. so i guess, it is just a matter of choosing which makes me feel less "worse".

so... i feel bad then that there are those who walk the path of betrayal. but i will feel worse to tell them that you reap what you sow. the universe always moves in a circle.

i feel bad that there are those who can't see the inherent kindness and strength in character of people i see. but i will feel worse if i share my mind about their narrowness and their bigoted ways.

i feel bad that there are those who ignore the purity of their natural, unembellished selves. but i will feel worse if i tell them that their need for attention only makes them look foolish and dreadfully unattractive.

i feel bad that there are those who settle for the easy, who sell themselves short and belittle their great abilities. but i will feel worse to tell them that they are cowards and lazy and will learn their hard lessons soon enough.

i feel bad for those who fall victims to the foolishness of the heart. but i will feel worse if i say that this is what we get for being too emotional.


Theo Martin said...

i feel worse for not being myself sometimes polar bear. pero kelangan e. as long as you know your convictions and you know who you really are, that's all that matters.

have a little bit of faith in yourself. from what i've seen, you're a really good person.

ShatterShards said...

There's nothing wrong in showing concern over people whose egos need to be put down lest they fall to their fiery doom. It's better that a friend pull them back to earth before someone who genuinely wishes them ill have the opportunity to do it for them.

I guess it falls down on the delivery; a way to sweeten that bitter pill that you have to force-feed upon them.

And when you discover how that is done, please tell me as well.

cb :: 林偉文 said...

i agree with theo. you're a good man. you just can't save everybody.

john stanley said...

situations can always be better. people can always be better. approaches can always be better.

you understand these things that's why you care.

and there's nothing wrong with caring.


ELAY said...

sometimes I wish everyone would see things the way I see them... but I guess one can't save everybody... all you can do is pity them