conundrums

it's hard to break an old habit. not even day two into the new year and i already find myself simmering in my temper. and trust me, when i simmer, i really simmer.

been wrapping every brain cell to my disposal into this project that i am handling for my dad for the fast few weeks already since my return. despite all my worries that things might turn out like this, i still went ahead since, one, i really had nothing to do and it is good to be distracted with some form of work. and two, you can't really say no to family. so now i am here. i'm frustrated, pissed and just at a lost of what to do. i swear, having relatives as clients is just trouble waiting to happen.

it seems like almost every good idea i come up with gets shot down. more so, the "alternative" solutions proposed makes me wanna say "so why hire me in the first place? if you know so much, YOU DO IT!" i mean, i don't think that my ideas are the world's answer to famine and AIDS but hell!, i would at least think that i know what i am doing. it would be nice to feel trusted by one's family. i work on complete strangers' homes and they give me full control! this is just a small little store that DESPERATELY needs an extreme makeover! AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

dunno why i can't seem to shake it off. every time i look at the plan, it just pisses me off and i loose all interest in finding a common ground.

now i get called in to handle another project in selling call cards... huh? what does that have to do with me. turns out i look like i have been idle so here is "something" to keep me busy.

i think i know now why i have been forgetting a lot. i think it's because my brain is now FRIED from all the thinking i do for work. the same WORK that makes people think i'm just bumming around at home.

i just feel soooooo mad right now and i don't understand why!!!