2011

ah, a fresh new year, hoping that it would be a fresh new start as well.

seeming like it's my new year tradition already, first thing i do as i get up from bed, besides evacuate my full bladder, pick my nose... to check the damage of what the past night's fumes had probably done to my slowly smothered lungs. often, i expect the darkest of hues once my finger emerges from their exploration. today however, my... MALINIS. this unexpected discovery prompted me to think back and take notice as well, my, i slept way past midnight last night and don't recall suffering from tinnitus from all the incessant noise. could it be true??? i guess it is... this year was the quietest new year's day celebration yet.

we had our annual new year's eve dinner last night at my lola's. we were only 13 that evening, the smallest number of my family gathering together. we all fit in just 1 dining table when often, the grandchildren would overflow to kiddie tables. it was half sad since we were quieter this year, less a few voices, less a few personalities, less a few stories, but still, we try to compensate. this year, my lola asked everyone to say grace over the food. this is the second time that she has done so, and i must confess, there is something intimately beautiful hearing the personal prayers of relatives. often, it would just be my lola and one of my uncles who would pray, since, i guess they have the strongest spirits in my family. but this time, upon hearing everyone pray (even my dad), i could not help but feel moved and feel blessed that i am part of this family. small is though my power, i know its not a matter of what i have now, but by God's mercy, what i should aspire to become and gain. hearing the voices of my uncles, my cousins, my parents, even myself, saying grace and being thankful, was a great bonding experience. it tied us all together as a family again, and i could not help but smile. i told my brother after that i loved the fact that i heard dad pray. he agreed, tho he wished dad would do it more often. i have faith that in time, he will.