2010

this will be my last post for this year.

i have toyed with the idea of maybe, this could also be the last post for me, for this blog, for this chapter in my life. time to maybe, turn a new leaf in the story of my life, and maybe, in the closing of that chapter, so too also my need to chronicle my thoughts.

but i will give myself more time to ponder on that thought. the season has been bad for me, both body and mind (but more BODY) so to make decisions during these rather troubling times would certainly be unwise. what would be wise is to try to summate this year, 2010, and in my retrospect, count my blessings. pardon if i don't mention them in chronological order or in accordance to level of importance, as i have said, the season has been bad for me, body and mind :)

this year was a year of many firsts, first full marathon, first road trip, first relationship. despite the fact that there really shouldn't be anything special about trying new things, for me, all these "first" also entailed that i step out of my comfort zone and face my fears, more importantly, the fear of failing.

this year was a year for friends. in the span of this year, i am glad to say that my kinship had grown deeper roots with a few people, some deeper than others in surprising ways. i would choose not to mention them, but you know who you are. thank you for letting me into your lives. it matters a lot that you would trust me, even if often, as i had been exposed of my own imperfections, i don't trust myself. i hope i would not disappoint you.

this year was also a year of weeding. yes, weeding, and pruning as well. Outednarnian put it well when he once said, he has all the friends he needs. i guess, i do too. no need to spread myself thinly anymore. time to nurture first the bonds i have now than to keep making new ones.

this year was a year of self-discovery. i learned that i am mean; that i am intimidating; that i am a control-freak; that i am weak; that i am severe; that i am impatient; that i am judgmental.

this year was a year of yearning, to be a better son, to be a better christian, to be a better worker, to be a better leader.