Monday, October 4, 2010

the dream

the voice of the narrator faded into the background. i came to a few minutes later, the show i was watching on Discovery, over. i looked at the time, 11pm. i got myself a fresh shirt, turned the TV off then the lights.

i came to again, kuya was home and pacing about in the room, packing for his trip to cebu the following morning. i got up, looked at him in my stupor, then repositioned myself back on the indentation i had made on my mattress.

kuya turned on the lights. i woke up again. i could hear that he turned on the TV as well. he was watching Urban Zone. i could recognize Daphne Osena's voice but could not make of anything she was saying. i turned in my bed and buried my face into my pillow... then i began to dream, curiously, about watching Urban Zone. Daphne was doing her usual tours of spectacular homes and i was there, watching. it was a vivid dream, all up to the point wherein my reality popped in and i could no longer discern which was the dream, and which was real. i found myself face up again on my bed. kuya was still pacing about in the room, TV was still on.

i was about to walk out of the room this time, i think kuya was with me. as i opened the door to go outside into the corridor, kuya and i were immediately thrown back, swept off our feet and pinned against the ceiling. the force that was keeping us up grew stronger and heavier. i could not see it nor could feel whether we were being pushed onto or pulled into the ceiling. whatever it was, it felt undeniably evil, like of the worst kind. i could not hear it but there was a sinister laughter, faint but palpable. there was a growing panic in me. i could not sense my kuya beside me anymore. i was on my own, on the ceiling, held captive by a force i could not see.

part of me knew i was dreaming since i still could see myself on my bed. from the ceiling i could feel the bed, lying in the bed, my linens against my skin. i could see the flashing of the lights from the TV, like strobes in a dark room. i could hear Daphne's voice. i then could not sense my bed anymore as the feeling of floating and being pinned to the ceiling overwhelmed me. i felt the need to fight. almost like a reflex, i began to pray. i called onto the only name i knew that was powerful enough, and called it with all the conviction i could, wielding such a powerful name. opening my mouth was hard and at first, it came out as a whisper despite how i was screaming in my head. "LORD JESUS" i called. the laughter grew loud for a moment. "LORD JESUS" i called again, the laughter stopped, and the grip weakened a bit. "LORD JESUS" i called louder. my arms could now move. "LORD JESUS" i was shouting now, courage and rage surging in me. i was slowly descending to my bed. "LORD JESUS" my arms and my feet were now flaying at whatever it was that was handling me. "LORD JE-" i jolted myself awake. my kuya asked what was happening.

i turned to face the ceiling, the nightmare felt so real. everything about it felt so real. the laughter, that voice felt so real. the relinquishing of the hold and me dropping into my bed felt so real.

feeling ko mag-ghost hunt mamaya sa bahay.

humanda kayong mga manignong-kayo...

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