kuya and i had a little chat while on the drive to his friend's wedding reception. while on the drive, i asked him about this "thing" my mom had brought up that morning, about another suitor taking interest in the girl he was showing intentions for. though i didn't really want to blow things out of proportion, i guess, the queen in me just needed some tension and drama, i nudged the idea that this means competition for my kuya, and indirectly, i was feeling the need to wage war for some reason. kuya, being the level-headed specimen that he always is, could not be bothered by my calls to arms, or he looked like he couldn't be.
as i eventually calmed down and the discussion progressed, i learned that now that both of us are older, my kuya and i are starting to think more and more alike, a fact that i greatly welcomed since i always thought my kuya to be one of the smartest people i know. when asked on the issue of love, he and i seemed to be on the same page, that is, love is not a feeling, but really a decision. we choose the people we want to be with, not just because of a feeling, but because we believe we can build a life with that person. feelings are too superficial, and do not anchor itself deep enough to create stable relationships. it sounds cold, it sounds frigid even, most especially to those who swear that romance is the way to go. true, i think romance should be present, but what if romance dies and people start pondering on the the idea that since they fell in love, that maybe they have fallen out of love? kuya said such ideas to be ridiculous. love is not passive that you just fall in and out of, love is an action and is an active word. it requires decision and commitment, and not just relying on the whims of erratic emotions.
i was quiet now, ruminating on his words, now a small smile forming on my face. it got me thinking of irog, again a slight recalibration on my part, a re-reminder as to why i am here with him in the first place, why i decided on him after just a few dates, why, even with our differences and personal unlovely details, those don't seem to matter so much since thankfully, love is a decision, and five months running, i'm still sticking to my decision.
as i eventually calmed down and the discussion progressed, i learned that now that both of us are older, my kuya and i are starting to think more and more alike, a fact that i greatly welcomed since i always thought my kuya to be one of the smartest people i know. when asked on the issue of love, he and i seemed to be on the same page, that is, love is not a feeling, but really a decision. we choose the people we want to be with, not just because of a feeling, but because we believe we can build a life with that person. feelings are too superficial, and do not anchor itself deep enough to create stable relationships. it sounds cold, it sounds frigid even, most especially to those who swear that romance is the way to go. true, i think romance should be present, but what if romance dies and people start pondering on the the idea that since they fell in love, that maybe they have fallen out of love? kuya said such ideas to be ridiculous. love is not passive that you just fall in and out of, love is an action and is an active word. it requires decision and commitment, and not just relying on the whims of erratic emotions.
i was quiet now, ruminating on his words, now a small smile forming on my face. it got me thinking of irog, again a slight recalibration on my part, a re-reminder as to why i am here with him in the first place, why i decided on him after just a few dates, why, even with our differences and personal unlovely details, those don't seem to matter so much since thankfully, love is a decision, and five months running, i'm still sticking to my decision.
1 comment:
this is very timely. thank you...:)
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