Wednesday, October 21, 2009

the month of X

since coming out, i think i have had three "almost" relationships, all of which obviously did not materialize for one reason or another; too young; too much in love; too self-centered; too many issues; may girlfriend... yada yada. my foray into the dating scene was my willful attempt into testing the waters of this identity that i am embracing. i thought to myself then, this is what i needed to be complete (very CENTRUM, indeed), to have a relationship and share love and be loved back. but interesting enough, and though i have to admit it was fun to have someone during those moments wherein we would connect, though my heart went pitter-patter with kilig, my brain on the other hand, was not all too amused.

it was my brain, in the end, that stepped on the brakes for all three of them. well, technically, just two since the last one... well... basta na.

so why am i babbling about all of this by chance. i really don't know. maybe it had something to do with the fact that i am now communicating with all three of them again, all contact re-established within a span of just two weeks. fate has a weird way of moving things for me.

i wonder where im headed off to now?


red the mod said...

Fate has a tongue as sharp as a dart, a humor as tragic as history, and a grasp of reality as surreal as our dreams. She weaves her web to enlighten us, to spite us, and to impart us with a humanity beyond our expectations.

Love conquers all, Chaucer says. And by any means, it shows how cruel and selfish Love can get. Despite any attempt to make a relationship, or a meta-relationship, work we always end up shortsighted to that fact that when it's not meant to be, it can't be.

Because if Love decides the other half is actually for someone else, no amount of coercion or perseverance can subjugate Love's beckons, not for you and not for he whom you pine for. Love conquerors all.

This story has yet to find its conclusion, and the issues dissolution. Do keep faith, that Lady Faith changes her schema and that Love makes his choice agreeable.

the geek said...

for whatever reason, this post made me smile.

i have to give credit to the three of them, at least they're still trying to re-establish. a brave thing, i must say.

gentle said...

hmm. i guess its a good thing, that you're communicating again with your past loves, jamie. we dont really have to burn bridges to move on, di ba?!

xtian1978ii said...

I think you've matured and ready na to love and be loved

Knoxxy said...

Hopefully leading you to somewhere good. :)

citybuoy said...

it always terrifies me when exes reconnect. i envy people like you who can stay friends (or become friends) in the end.

i hope wherever this leads you, it's to a good place. they (and by they, i mean nat king cole and eden ahbez) say the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

or you could just find it in this comment's word verification: dingogis. hahaha