Sunday, May 31, 2009

thoughts of the schulammite

i would sometimes wonder, like how i often do, what it would be like when circumstances would eventually take the space between us and, painlessly, put eternity in its place. i find myself asking maybe in the greater scheme of things, with the universe working itself towards a yet unforeseen better good, that our lives would be, in my own thinking, be how it should be, apart; simplified; uncomplicated; and even probably to an imagined ideal degree, peaceful. i wonder if in its doing, we would be made to walk the remainder of our days with a lightness in our step, enjoying the pleasure of having an absence of longing, experiencing the relief of having no burden for secrets, being freed from the threat of causing any offense. you would be now free to do whatever it is you wish with no need for concern or thought, as how i would also be, eradicating visions of you completely from my memory. i wonder if and when our lives eventually diverge and we two now take our separate, opposite ways, that we will, maybe, probably, be truly, genuinely, be happy.

but then, just maybe, despite my curious wonderings, i am already happy, now, knowing you are there.

4 comments:

wanderingcommuter said...

some would say, never live with what ifs.

but perhaps "ifs" are created to remind us that the things we have now are better than we aspire.

wonderful post, jamie!

Eternal Wanderer... said...

We actually sang a song titled "La Sulamite"

Sorry, off topic lolz

Theo Martin said...

you're so ripe to write a book polar bear. ang galeng! :)

john stanley said...

polar bear in deep thought again. must have been the heavy rain...

=)