bitter-sweet

it was bitter-sweet. not in that order, unfortunately.

i laid in my bed, partly still intoxicated with a profound sense of enlightenment. the fast had made me very clear-headed as of late and had made my senses more acute. i was an empath again and was almost sure if someone asked me to tell their fortune, i could with a great deal of accuracy. my phone ran as i was about to pick it up. in my head, i somehow knew. hearing your voice put a grin on my face. hearing your news made the grin into a smile. i was genuinely happy. i was elated, overly excited, even thrilled at the thought of how your life is now unfolding. the stagnant wheels that had frustrated you all this time has finally given in and now, you are moving. one month was the time line. one month for reality to fully set it. one month for you to fully embrace your bright new future. one month to slowly wean yourself, and i as well. one month... then came the bite.

the bitterness felt all too familiar...

the month of march is upon me at last. this morning at work, as i sat in my chair reading the dialogue of tweets, as i strung pieces together... my heart sank all of a sudden. one more day, it said. i had almost forgotten. the day has finally come, and i now have to close the door i have held open for the longest time.

reading your words flooded me with good memories. i would like to think God was kind enough to ease my suffering with pleasant recollections at least. a merciful consolation knowing full well how my relationships always end. lost in a tug of war of expressions, dried out of words, i sat in my chair, and this time, after a very long time, i felt miserably alone... then the power failed.

what i would do for a bar of chocolate right now.... o yeah, i can't have any since i'm on a fast.