i'm confused

modernity has not only affected our lives through providing us with useful tools to make living more comfortable, but it has also given society that extra boost to make our yesterdays of cave living and clubbing people in the head a dream... a very forgettable dream.

in this day and age, with terms abounding and labels for almost everything and anything, you would suppose that people would be more clear of what is and what is not. coined, derived and adapted from, we have words for all extremes, and also all the degrees that fall in between. considering this apparent flood of (over) information, i still however find myself scratching my head why some people choose to remain in limbo. not only so, but celebrate their limbo-ness.

of probably all aspects of modern life, human sexuality has become the pin-up model for this culture of the lost and cheerfully wandering. we have been more than familiar with the range of terms now used in mainstream talk, so much so, that i believe wikepedia needs to update their already updated definitions. ambiguity rather that the usual polar views of sex seems to be the under current that is setting, not really a trend, but a revolution of how man view themselves and maybe even, the world around them. a view of the orgy in the indie movie "shortbus" would more than illustrate how varied and rather confused the idea of sex has become. i even remember my mom's questions before when she asked me to define the difference between homosexuals, bisexuals, bi curious, transexuals, transvestites, hermaphrodites, and transgendered. to summarize, our conversation led us nowhere and did not really shed light onto anything. of course, the WWW, being the mother load of information that it is, did not really offer the help i was expecting it would as well, with articles such as that of thomas beatie, a transgendered female, who's now legally a male, who is legally married to a wife, who is also pregnant and due in june.... WHA? apparently, our plethora of words were not enough to fully grasp the complexity and multifariousness of what man, or woman, or whatever... can do. and this is just about sex, i have not yet delved into other human institutions like family and religion...

so, what have we become? what has human culture and society become? what has modernity, free thinking and free feeling lead us to? are we really more enlightened, more cultured, more civilized, more intelligent? or all of this is just ruse, a hoax, that we are actually devolving back to our cave man days, only that, we have nintendo and cable to trick us into thinking we are better off now than then.

a star is BORN!!!

show business have used this phrase as far as i can remember, implying as the phrase goes, that a celebrity is born, or rather, discovered. such exclamations would usually bring about accolades as well as publicity stints and endorsements deals, catapulting the once unknown nobody from the deep crevasses of society,into the intense scorching, bleaching, rays of the public limelight.

on the other hand, for scientific, no social life, geekazoids like myself, phrases like this should never be taken lightly. indeed, the birth of a star involve rather drastic measures, but i was thinking of it in grander, more cosmic proportions. the birth of a star entails the maturation of a galactic brew of ice, metal and gases, squeezed in pressures almost unimaginable, in heat almost unmeasurable, in a swirl of forces that can make you puke a gazillion times over till your a dried up prune!!!! and yet, considering the undeniable hellish and torturous environment our celestial being calls her womb, it all seems necessary for how else can you produce a spectacular diadem in the sky? a figure so beautiful, so enchanting that she has captivated countless million in the entire course of our civilization.

that being said. i guess it pays to go through hell to find a star. kindly refer to the illustration below.


you got to hand it to her.... she is an improv GODDESS!!!!!! ahahahahahahaha!!!!

the longest interview in my life

i got a call the other day from a company that i applied a job for. it took me a few minutes to realize who they really were since i have been sending out so many resumes, i honestly have lost track as to who's who. i finally figured out who they were. funny though, i also ended up declining to go to their interview. i was already involved with a project and simple-minded me, figured that i don't want to be bothered by having too many choices.

needless to say, the stupidity of my decision was made very clear to me when my manager of a brother got wind of it. after hearing his 2 cents about what i have just done, i could not help but feel like the smallest and definitely the dumbest person in the world! all of this just because i wanted my life a bit more simple. so after picking up the pieces of what was left of my ego, i licked my wounds and decided to call up the company again, and hopefully, salvage the opportunity. thankfully so, they scheduled me for the next day.

i arrived in ortigas at around 8am. i was to go to their partner's office to take a CAD exam so that they could assess my proficiency. from what i perceived, i though that i was just going to some test center, like those CAD instructing schools, but instead, i found myself in a sprawling corporate office. HUGE! people were running to and fro, all busy doing something. the atmosphere was quite cold, not much noise and very serious. all you hear are the incessant sounds of computers and mouse buttons clicking. the receptionist attended to me and i was made to wait at the lobby for the interview. a couple more applicants later joined me, 7 of us all in all.

we finally started with the interview process. they first had as copy a floorplan in the pc, and provide a section/elevation of the plan in a design of our choosing. we had two hours to finish. i was actually quite nervous at first since i was never confident of my CAD skills and here i am, taking a test, surrounded my CAD geniuses no doubt, based on how frantic their clickings sounded. to hell with it, i thought to myself, if it's not for me, what can i do? right? so off i went.. hoping i can at least learn something. FIVE HOURS later, we were handed the second part of the interview. since i was applying as an interior designer, i was given a different set. when they handed me the plan, my jaw almost dropped, and the facilitator could not help but notice my shock. i was again tasked to copy a plan and give a section with elevation. as i looked at my plan, i saw that it was of a majlis, a muslim formal living room. working in dubai had made me more than familiar with this term, more so of its often outrageous and eccentric designs. then i looked at the title bar of the plan, KCA interiors..... KUAN CHEW AND ASSOCIATES? OM freaking G!!!!! i then realized what was the business of the company i was applying for, CAD outsourcing.


my two hours passed pretty quickly. after struggling with the very poor printout of the majlis, i was finally able to finish. i was then ushered to another room where i filled out a questionnaire with questions that almost feels like i was competing in a beauty pageant. i guess they were pretty standard, now that i know what kind of people the company is looking for, what are your strengths, how do you deal with other employees, how is you time management, yada, yada, yada. honestly, i was so tired from the grueling day, my back was hurting, i was hungry and i felt a bit disoriented, that i was no longer paying attention to what i was writing, for all i know, i could have thought i was writing on my blog! all i know is as i answered the questions, i heard myself say, i working in a call center.

after a few more minutes of waiting. i was finally called in for the actual interview. they got a printout of my work, took a quick look at it and gave me an OK. i was then asked what i used to do, where i worked, and what kind of responsibilities i had. then they told me that i need not have had taken the exam since it was for CAD applicants. all in all, the oral interview was done in 15 mins. 15 minutes compared to the 10 hours i was there.... UGH!!!!

needless to say, they want me. they want me so much, they will wait for me to be available, which will be on june. i'm actually having a slight dilemma. though i really would like the stable income and working in a team setup, it concerns me that i wont be able to do designing. why call myself an interior designer when i don't do just that?

of movies and marathons

saturdays are supposed to be the most activity packed day of the week. people are supposed to be up and about with fresh energy and seizing the first day of the weekend. it's not the case however when it's holy week. when it's black saturday, things move at a very lethargic pace, almost like how people probably behaved back during the dark ages, hence, black saturday would be a very appropriate term.

i spent my mornings doing what i do, check my mail. i hoped that not all the world comes to a halt during that day. that despite the entire christendom becoming extra solemn on christ's first day of death, that there would be some vestige of life somewhere else in the world and that life would somehow trickle down its way and find itself in my mail box. sadly, i had none of that. no email, nothing. even the juicy blogs i frequent didn't offer something worthy. i was bored... dead bored.

i then resorted to my next choice for salvation, cable. nothing interesting as well. either this lingering mood is slowly getting intoxicating or this saturday was just really a down day. i soon got my answer as i stumbled upon a rather intriguing show. studio 23 was having a marathon showing of the first season of kyle xy. i have never heard of this show before and it was my first time to watch it. i have to say, i am hooked! either this was just my body trying to desperately latch on to something, anything, that's more interesting than counting my toenail clippings or the show is REALLY FREAKING GOOD! well, it was really freaking good. it's so good, my kuya, who was asleep through most of the show, woke up, saw parts of it, and never went back to sleep.


kyle xy revolves around kyle, a strange teenager who was found naked in the woods, suffering from amnesia. he has no recollection of how he got there or where he's from. he also has no idea on anything about everything, with one of the characters so aptly describing him as "having a newborn, but he's fully grown". stranger still, kyle has no navel and somehow possesses superhuman abilities. despite having no idea on the concepts of time and of social interactions, he can solve graduate level math problems in minutes, learn how to do an air jordan overnight, and fix a server unit by just browsing through the manual. what i especially liked about this show is that the story didn't really just focus on kyle's super human abilities but also dabbled on normal human interactions between him and the show's other characters. think dawson's creek meets smallville. the plot definitely has a lot of twists and turns and keeps viewers at the edge of their seats, lusting for more!!!! i am SO a fan! it has everything i look for in a series, mystery, suspense, eye candy, character vulnerability and lots of teenage angst!!!

now, that being said, you could just imagine the torment i had to go through when my kuya pried me off my marathon addiction to go watch 10,000BC. we have been planning to go see this movie for a few weeks now right after seeing the trailer and for some reason, he developed the itch to watch it now. right NOW. after some effort in exercising great amounts of my will, i managed to turn off the tube and turn my back from what was my present love. now, in hindsight, i shouldn't have betrayed my kyle.... for 10,000 BC. sucked!

10,000BC. was such a waste of story and film. couldn't really say much about the acting since a lot of it was done either under thick layers of snow, in the midst of a sea of CG effects of just a lot of battle scenes. the plot, being as simple as a guy, running after her girl who got kidnapped and in the course of it, found his destiny was stretched out to unimaginable lengths, almost making it seem that the movie will take 10,000 years to finish. i had such high hopes for this movie considering how they packaged it. great cinematography, up-tempo music, spectacular CG and lots of action proved to be a good combination in duping people to shell out money to watch this LOTR wannabe. i swear.... i was so bored i found myself scanning the cinema looking at the people who looked equally as bored as we were.

HOLY week!

it's good friday, the supposed day of jesus' death. just this morning, a group of self flagellating penitents paraded in front of our house en route to the church behind us. though the practice has already been condemned and deemed "ineffective" by the catholic church, locals here still go for the masochistic exhibition in hopes that their pain and bloodshed can wash them of their sins and offer them another shot at eternal salvation.

i remember before when i was little, in hopes of shielding me from the realities of this gruesome practice, my nanny would tell me that the shrouded bleeding men who were whipping their backs actually were performers who have bathe themselves in del monte banana ketchup. being the innocent child that i was, i believed every bit of that lie. so every holy week, i would park myself at our window anticipating the tomato loving actors who would pass in front. fascinated and entertained by how icky and gooey they must feel now... though i have always wondered why their brand of ketchup was redder than the ones we had at home. now that i am older, i know better. of course i am no longer as gullible. needless to say, my nanny's contribution to the blood-ketchup relationship gave me a whole new appreciation to this ubiquitous condiment.

i have finally gotten the chance to see "la mome" AKA "la vie en rose", the story depeicting the life of french singing icon, edith piaf. quite a sad tale of the rise and fall of such a talented figure, a film depicting her rough childhood, her discovery, her affairs, her addictions, her loves and he lost. it also showed the spectacular performance of marion cotillard as edith piaf. no doubt she deserved that award fro best actress.


i took the liberty of finally getting my hair shaved off. i have been planning it since last year as i have grown tired of fixing my hair every morning. not only does my new "do", or rather the lack of it, save me time in the morning, considering it's already summer, it also spares me the embarrassing experience of melting it public in this heat as i have instant air conditioning care of my bare head!

my mom expressed her dislike for my decision and was trying to dissuade me from doing it, but i feel like i have delayed long enough. she now expresses her protest by pretending she doesn't recognize me every time she sees me. that and teasing me that i look like a convict on death row. WATEVS MA!!!

summer sizzlers

i first saw these pics last week while working out at the gym. while in between sets, my gym buddy decided to take his time recuperating and started reading the papers (the cheat!). i didn't know what was taking him so long. i was already done with my set and was already starting to cool down. you're only supposed to have 1 minute intervals between sets to maximize your work out you know! but despite my clamors of his to stop being a chicken and be a man and hit the weights again, i sat there with dumbells in hand, ignored. UGH!, no one IGNORES ME while i'm in mid process of achieving adonis-dom!!!! NO ONE!!!! out of frustration, i walked up to him and decided to confront the cheating bastard! upon closer inspection though, i noticed his face was rather stupefied, eyes firmly affixed to the fashion and lifestyle section of the periodicals he was reading. now... my gym buddy is as straight as an iron rod but something about him and reading fashion didn't seem to jive well. then i saw what he was REALLY looking at......

KC is a GODDESS!! i was dumbfounded by the pictorial. i initially thought it was some foreign model, which i already found hot. but it almost blew me away to find out if was KC! anak ng p*****ng i*a!!! by the time i approached, my gym buddy snapped out of his trance and went back to his job, being babied to lift weights (hehehe, joke) leaving me there is bask in the glory that was KC. i had to get these pics i though to myself, i HAD TO!!!! the internet wasn't much of a use since i could not seem to find it on google. i would have thought that such pics would already be the buzz of town the moment it hit the streets, but none.. nothing. that was until today. thanks to brian gorell and the bajillion people who utterly wish tim yap grows a boil from his butthole to his groin.... i found the site, and found the pics that i told my cousin "i swear man, if weren't a fairy...... i wouldn't mind getting me some of that!!".

the face that launched a thousand "ehems".

inggit

just found out that my relatives are flying off to south africa today for holy week. never really felt jealous, but now i am.